It’s America’s 239th birthday and it’s time to feed your friends with charcoal laced everything and beer. If all goes as planned, it should be an excellent time. But at any good old American get together, there could be the occasional annoyance, so we have Beyoncé’s words for ten of them. With all due respect to American heroes like Harriet Tubman, Dorothea Dix, and Rosa Parks, Beyoncé was the only one who sang “Proud to Be An American,” in a crisp eggshell suit. Because of this, today we’re saluting Bey’s ego and her ability to sum up how we feel about the errors in judgment people might make at your fourth of July fete this year. Jumping right in with the cue.
1. When you double fist two corns on the cob because the only food group you’ve known since “bikini season” was declared has been kale, and it’s a holiday.
2. When you crop your friend out of the picture because they’re carrying a koozy, wearing flesh tattoos, wearing ironic American flag jorts, or doing some otherwise incriminating thing because you’re protective of your friends.
3. When someone starts talking about how patriotism doesn’t mean blindly accepting every one of America’s moves and you tune it out to stare absently at your sparkler.
4. When your phone sucks and you miss the ultimate opportunity to upload a PERFECT video of exploding fireworks at the ideal time so you consider changing cell services.
5. When someone hands you a thing that wasn’t grilled and you’re like nah.
6. When you’re a few Micheladas deep and you decide that your dreams about a chance encounter with Jason Biggs might interest people.
7. When someone in the squad suggests you all go to a ticketed boat party rave they heard about because it will probably be low-key and you almost consider it.
8. When people say “no bun” with their bean burger and then they later decide they would in fact like a bun and you’re out of them because they sit on a throne of delusions.
9. When a little girl cuts you in line for the ice cream truck.
10. When it’s getting too late in your late 20s, and you want everyone to stop singing the words to “Pony.”
News source : Yahoo
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